WHODUNIT a play in one act by Chris Anthony CHARACTERS FRANK a shipping heir and shareware programmer. Doesn't flaunt his wealth. Full name Franklin Jefferson Adams III. Mid-20s. JENNIFER a private investigator. Last name Cox. She used to do police work because it was what she wanted to do. Now she's a private eye because she feels like it's all she knows how to do. About 35. SETTING Frank's apartment in New York. It's spacious but not too upscale. Two bedrooms, one bath, separate kitchen. TIME Autumn 2003. Morning. ACT I SCENE I (A knock on the door.) FRANK (from offstage) Just a minute! (Frank enters from offstage - one of the bedrooms - in a robe and slippers. He has a mug of coffee in one hand. His hair is cut short.) FRANK (over his shoulder) I'll be right back, Cathy. (Another knock, just before Frank opens the door.) FRANK Can I help you? JENNIFER May I come in? FRANK That depends. JENNIFER I'm Jennifer Cox. FRANK Do I know you? JENNIFER I'm working with NYPD. FRANK Have I done anything wrong? JENNIFER I'm sure you haven't. I just want to talk to you. FRANK You could have called. JENNIFER Harder for you to say no when I'm standing here. (Pause.) FRANK Okay, come in. JENNIFER Thank you. Do you happen to have any more coffee? It would've taken me three hours just to order at Starbucks. FRANK I guess. Have a seat. (He disappears offstage, reappears with another coffee mug.) FRANK Milk, two sugars. JENNIFER It'll do. Frank, do you know-- FRANK Do I get to call you Jenny? JENNIFER It's Jennifer. FRANK Then it's Mr. Adams. JENNIFER Fine. Mr. Adams, do you know a woman by the name of Alice Kensington? FRANK Alice, yes, of course. We were engaged. She broke it off so she could start seeing some Greek writer. JENNIFER How did you meet? FRANK We ended up next to each other at a showing of Chicago. Actually, no, we were a seat apart -- Cathy was between us. I really can't believe those two were ever friends. Is she in trouble? JENNIFER Miss Kensington? In a manner of speaking. FRANK Good. JENNIFER I'm sorry? FRANK She's spoiled and selfish. She deserves what she gets. JENNIFER Do you mean that? FRANK I do. She took my money and broke my heart. Probably did the same thing to the Greek. She'll probably keep doing it all her life unless someone stops her. Of course, I can't really be angry at her over that -- if I'd never met her, I wouldn't have met Cathy. JENNIFER I'd better just come out with it. Mr. Adams, Miss Kensington was found dead last night. FRANK I -- My God. JENNIFER She was strangled, placed in a burlap bag, and half-buried behind a Dumpster in the Bronx. FRANK You're sure it's her? JENNIFER Dental records match. And Mr. Xanthis identified her at the morgue this morning. FRANK Do you have any suspects? JENNIFER I didn't. FRANK ...what do you mean? JENNIFER Did you know that Alice Kensington had named you in her will, Mr. Adams? FRANK Oh, Jesus. (Pause.) FRANK I don't even have a solid alibi. I was here in the apartment all night. I watched some TV, played some games, cooked dinner -- but nobody else was around. Cathy was out with her friends -- saw a movie, I guess. JENNIFER Of course, you're not an official suspect, Mr. Adams. FRANK *Frank*, please. JENNIFER Frank, then. Frank, you might be able to help us out and clear your name. Do you know anyone else who might have a grudge against Miss Kensington? FRANK Probably... pretty much anyone who ever had to deal with her. I don't think her parents even liked her much, and when she died, the inheritance went to her head. She thought she could do anything - that she was better than everyone else. JENNIFER But nobody specific comes to mind? FRANK I sure wasn't her only boyfriend. And I think she treated us all pretty badly. JENNIFER Any names in particular? FRANK I never knew any of their last names. They were all throw-away guys, a nickname and a wallet. God forbid she spend her parents' money when she could spend someone else's. Dave, Rob, Sean... but I couldn't identify any of the rest of them. She probably thought of me that way. Frank and an account number. She was like the Swiss banking of girlfriends. JENNIFER But you can't think of anyone who had a *special* grudge against Miss Kensington? FRANK Nobody that I can think of. JENNIFER I see. FRANK I wish I could help. JENNIFER I wish you could too. (She stands up, and he follows suit.) JENNIFER Thanks for your time, Mr. Adams. And for the coffee. Give me a call if you think of anything. FRANK Good luck, Jennifer. JENNIFER Thanks. (She exits. Frank sits back down heavily.) FRANK Yeah.